Soul-Searching

I am dating someone now who really is my friend; she is not just my girlfriend, but a true, real, close friend.  This is the first time in my life when the terms “girlfriend” and “friend” became one so harmoniously.  And so, it has been an adventure in this new way of viewing a relationship; it seems a lot more real, and a lot more serious(in a good way!).  I have been blessed in my life to have been given three great women of God that I have dated in the past that have shaped me, have made me view things differently, and who have shown me what I really need in a girlfriend, and subsequently, what I need in a wife.

I have learned that it is important to discover what you want, and what you need, in a relationship and from that other person.  Before this time I focused so much on fulfilling others that I kind of forsook my own soul-searching to discover what I needed and wanted.  For a girlfriend, I need and want a friend.

Today, I was struck by the concept of a working relationship.  How a girlfriend becomes a friend, and then how a wife becomes family.  Both words “friend” and “family” have always been “fear” words for guys to hear.  “Oh, you’re such a good Friend”(to guys this means that she will never date you).  Or, “You’re like a brother!”(To guys this means…no chance on earth; worse than friend-zone). Or at least that is how my guy friends and I have understood them.  So, we grew up in a society that somehow says that if someone is legitimately your friend, they cannot become a significant other.  Or, how if someone treats you so well that they are like family, then they can never be a significant other.  But in working relationships, we see that the girlfriend and boyfriend are legitimate friends, and we see that the husband and wife are still friends, but they become family.  So really, if you are looking for someone to date with the intention of marriage…look for someone who you could be(or are) real friends with.

That being said, I am very thankful for my girlfriend, we’ll call her “C”, and for our friendship with one another.

Peace & Love,

Jon

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